But I love food too much!

[Img: me at my prime (Chamonix 2013)]

Oh boy I’ve been looking forward to writing this one… and it actually took a bit of preparation!

Many of you will be in a similar position to myself, in that they just love eating. I’m not even sure I’d classify myself as a foodie, I mean, I love a fancy restaurant meal as much as the next guy, but that’s not going to stop me tucking into a packet of rich teas when I get home!

Am I a glutton? Maybe. Probably…and I suspect I’m about to reach that threshold age. Y’know, the age when those skinny bastards get their comeuppance for getting away with eating all they like all those years.

One step forward two steps back

I started going to the gym properly about 8 months ago. The magnitude of my breakup back in August ’16 could have transformed me in one of two ways as I see it:

  1. I could have succumbed to the comfort eating urges and begun my evolution from stick figure to balloon…
  2. Or I could have used the scary expanses of free time to start on some semblance of a summer body for next year – to venture on a noble quest to find that ever elusive six-pack

Well. 8 months down the line and I’ve done neither, really. I’ve done my time in the weights room, I’ve swallowed my pride and attempted squats (not a pretty sight), I’ve sacrificed hundreds of potential gaming hours, and to what end?

It’s actually been to a rather positive end. I have more energy, I spend more time socialising with my gym buddy and best mate Tom (not myself), and the time I spend playing Xbox has become more valuable as a result of its scarcity.

There’s only one thing holding me back.

You guessed it. It’s the cake. It was always the cake. Goddamn it.

The science behind the munching

Urghh it’s a weakness alright. I’d say I have a level of infamy among my family and friends as to the disgusting amount of sweets and chocolate I still consume, at the age of 23.

I just can’t help myself. The urge to be always a’munching is stronger than me, and the cupboards are always bristling with delicious looking baked goods and confectionery.

As it’s something I regularly think about, especially after working hard at the gym, I thought I’d take my musings one step further.

So I asked Tom if he’d do a food diary last Wednesday, just the one day to see how our diets compared.

Ladies if you want Tom’s number I’ll be more than happy to pass it over.

Before we analyse the results, I just thought I’d point out: coming from a scientific background I realise how comically imprecise this data is. In truth, it seemed like a huge effort just tracking my intake for one day!


So Tom sent over his food diary Thursday morning (thanks for that btw man), and I Googled a rough calorie count for each item on our respective list.

His included cereal for breakfast, a chicken and salad sandwich for lunch and quiche, chips and chicken for dinner.

Just to be awkward I managed to go out to Franco Manca that day. I wouldn’t say I generally consume 1000 calories at lunch, but the fact I usually dip a twix in my otherwise healthy yoghurt and granola breakfast didn’t give me a great start out the blocks…

We both had a protein shake in the evening, but I chased mine down with some Ben and Jerry’s icecream – who’s the winner now?

What to do about this?

I guess this is more of a question to you really. I wouldn’t say having a 3000 calorie per day diet is a bad thing if it’s complimented with exercise, but the sheer volume of sugar is likely to give me some grief sooner rather than later.

I think the best plan of action is shaming. I’m not endorsing bullying here, but I think a good kick in nuts every time I grab a snickers would do a wondrous job.

On a tangent

In other news, I’ve been reading “Ready Player One” which has totally convinced me to get out the D & D dungeon master manual again. This could also spell bad news for my future gym plans…

Any D & D vets out there with some wisdom to impart?

Thanks for reading either way, and have a great 4 day week – you can thank Jesus for that one.

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