It’s been a question that’s come up quite a bit recently.
And it plays quite heavily upon other peoples perceptions and whether those perceptions matter to you.
Going for a coffee with a friend of the opposite gender is seen to the parties involved as a neutral activity, the purpose being to ‘catch up’ in a way that doesn’t rely on mutual hobbies.
For those on the outside though, would they look like an item? Coffee shops are (after all) the unspoken place for first dates.
Then couldn’t you say the same for a meal-for-two? An evening at the theatre, a sightseeing trip or a long walk (without the label of trek).
I went for a family walk the other day in Herstmonceux and had the realisation that, bar travelling, I hadn’t actually been out for a walk for 9 months! And I actually really enjoy a good walk.
That’s the thing. Since it was something I regularly did as a ‘date’ I wouldn’t really consider suggesting a walk with a friend.
Again with baking. It’s something I’ve been meaning to dabble in, but it’s something I did almost weekly during long Uni holidays. Instead I’ve been seeking other activities which usually end up involving my old-faithful Xbox (or more commonly watching other people play Xbox xD)…
Just before I left the office on Friday I got told about a street party happening in Brighton on Sunday. My last bank holiday was spent nursing a monstrous hangover so I was intent on making the most of the extra time off.
I managed to convince Tom to come with me (although in retrospect, I think we went to the wrong event…). It wasn’t hard. He’s as much a food lover as myself. It cost a pretty penny to get in, but once there the atmosphere was amazing. Also, the street food on offer was just sublime.
I had a Peruvian burger which they made infront of me on a sizzling hot plate. The man brushed it with sauce throughout the cooking process making it unbelievably tasty. Best burger I’ve ever had… sorry GBK…
I’d totally recommend you go there. It’s open today (even if the weather is bit gross).
The reason I brought up the Foodie Festival was because I noticed something about the demographic there. It was largely couples and families, and the people not in couples made up groups of tipsy guys and girls.
We got chatting to a girl working at a stall selling gourmet recipe packs. I mean, she was clearly wasting her time talking to two guys who live at home still (we’re working on it!), but I came away from the conversation thinking:
“I wonder if she thought we were together…”
Going to a foodie festival was always something on my couples bucket list after all.
Another thing on the list was going to a London theatre production.
I met up with my mate Liam who told us about his recent nights out with his girlfriend and Tom brought it up yesterday.
You see, despite loving theatre Tom hasn’t been for years. And I think that’s down to the preconception that going to the theatre is quite a date-y thing to do!
There’s a balance to be struck here, because you can think of this both ways.
Being single means you’re freed up to go wherever you like, whenever you like. There’s nothing holding you back (in theory), and no second opinion to halt proceedings.
However, although there ARE things you can’t really do as a couple, there are also places which can feel quite alienating if you’re not walking the same path as everyone else. If there’s no one linked at the arm.
Last year in Vienna I went to a concert on my own.
There was an element of empowerment to it – like a big fuck you to social convention – but it also felt wrong and a little bit sad.
However, it all comes down to how you are perceiving the situation. After all, if you’re having a good time it doesn’t matter what the norm is. I had a lovely catch up over coffee with Roya and a gluttonous day in foodie paradise with Tom, and whether those social events were coupley or not didn’t matter one bit.
PS: Sorry I didn’t take any pictures of the foodie festival, you’ll just have to take my word for it.