It’s been two full weeks since I’ve written anything on here. Terrible I know! What happened to this self-proclaimed writer?
I’ll give you a clue, it’s not for lack of time… nor for lack of things to write about. Every experience is a potential blog post, and I could probably write daily if I chose to. It’s (and I think this is something a lot of writers come up against) the question of: “is this worth other people’s time?” And “is this the wrong time to share?”
Why should other people care about my musings or my problems when there are so many other more pressing issues pervading the world around us?
On social media the recent attacks continue to fill my news feed, but nestled in among the terror and the sadness the steady stream of memes and inappropriate humour from LadBible remain.
It feels odd to me.
The day of the London attacks I was thinking of posting. I bought a great little creative writing book which forces you to take bizarre perspectives like: what do you think the couch thinks every time you plonk yourself down on it?
I went to the Comicbook Emporium and had a nerd-out over my D & D experiences with the guys in there, then took a spontaneous drive with two of my best friends to have tea at Birling Gap. Top nosh.
However, I spent the evening into the early hours glued to the TV in shock. So close to home and even closer to many of my friends who live in the city.
Suddenly the importance of what I had to say seemed insignificant. Even the thought of posting was a show of disrespect and insensitivity in light of the unthinkable events of Saturday.
After all, why should I talk about what a great weekend I’d had when others were grieving their tragic losses.
I realise now I was wrong. And Ladbible (strangely) were right.
The purpose of my writing this blog is to bring smiles to people’s faces, largely through chatting about recent blunders and social failures. So assuming the blog has the desired effect, it should bring about good rather than exude disrespect.
To nullify and dilute the unrest of my readers.
This way of thinking isn’t new to me though. Let’s say you’ve got a problem, maybe a stomach ache, but the person next to you has kidney stones. Shuts you up doesn’t it. There is a point where you can apply too much perspective to things.
If you go around every day saying to yourself, “don’t complain about anything” you’re luckier than those living in poverty in Cambodia or the Congo, it doesn’t make your problem go away, it just makes you feel bad about having it in the first place.
First World Problems
Going even deeper, I think this is a problem those with depression have to deal with.
In reality it’s a disease of the brain, often not even caused by anything as straightforward as a bad upbringing or life changing event.
How then must they perceive other people’s opinions of them if they’re complaining about life which, on the outside, looks perfectly normal – good even?
As a soul drainer or a wimp? Complaining about nothing, making drama for no conceivable purpose.
Problem is, some people do think this, and that’s why many who suffer from depression hide it, thinking it’s not worth bothering other people with.
Wrapping this up
When I set out to write this post last night I had no idea I was going to broach so many sensitive subjects.
I know! Heavy! I hope I haven’t upset anyone.
The point I was trying to make about the terror attacks was: the stronger the negative effect they have, the better job the cowardly f-bags did.
Even as an Englishman indirectly affected by the events I let them screw with my ability to continue my goings on.
I had a chat with Dad about it yesterday actually, and he said something very wise. He said things like this and worse are happening every single day elsewhere.
So if I let every bad thing in the world affect my ability to blog then I might as well just hang up the hat now.
If you have something to say or a problem you need help with then what’s the use in keeping it bottled up inside?
My conclusion is, we should all be a bit more American. I’m not saying legalise firearms and vote in a maniac to rule us… Just be a little bit less polite and introverted about what we have to say.
Lastly I did want to emphasise the sadness I feel for the victims and their families. I’d like to do another 24 hour live stream at some point so maybe there’s a cause worth burning my retinas for.
P.S. I don’t have time for it right now… But I wanted to talk about Dwarf Fortress soon – the most inaccessible game in the world, dragon slaying and natural 20’s and getting my first client (exciting!).
So a lighter post next time. I promise 😉
Also, drop me a message if you think I’ve missed a point, or nailed it. These are my musing after all!