Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written. As much as I’ve been taught not to believe in writer’s block, I’ve been unable to bring myself to post anything.
It’s not for lack of things to write about, I’ve just lacked confidence putting it on paper. It’s odd really. At face value I don’t have much reason to be anxious or stressed, but I’ve been experiencing these things regardless.
Cutting a long (and potentially boring) story short, it’s culled my creativity somewhat. Which is a problem, since creativity is what inspires my writing and writing is what I enjoy doing!
But after last weekend I’ve decided to fight it – just write until I create something worth sharing.
So where better to start than the weekend in quesion.
I was actually meant to be heading to Thorpe Park for a good friend’s birthday but decided to cancel – what a great friend I am… I was struggling with a list as long as my arm of things to get done before going on holiday next week, and the thought of driving up, then of rollercoasters (my achillies heel) got the better of me.
It was to help me unwind before a new week. And it kinda worked. But in an unexpected way.
Blowing smoke rings
There’s a guy called George I met through working with Dad – tough looking guy, arms like tree trunks, bald, scarred – you’ve got the picture, but man does this guy have the biggest heart, and behind the scar, his expression is perpetually one of kindness.
George has taken myself and Tom as boxing students, once and week. We’re like padawan learners but too dangerous to be allowed lightsabers.
It’s been a great experience, and a surprisingly therapeutic exercise to end a day on. Even after four sessions I feel a confidence in my ability to handle myself – and that’s something I’ve never felt before.
Over the weekend we gave him a bottle of single malt and asked if he’d let us try a bit – bit cheeky I know – but he accepted and brought cigars to boot.
I won’t go into details about the cigar smoking – I did absentmindedly take a nibble off the end (not a good idea/that’s what she said eheemehhemmmm), and half way through the evening it started pelting down with rain.
However, I’m painting a negative picture purposefully because it was actually a really great evening, and conversation got pretty deep.
I got some pretty valuable insights learning about George’s experiences as a youth. He wrote a blog recently which tells a large proportion of it. He told us where the scars came from, how he struggled to shine in his father’s shadow and how difficult moving to England was for him (from Bulgaria).
He also provided one of the most convincing arguments for Christianity I’ve ever heard. But the one big take-away I got from his story was:
You can be rich and powerful and famous (or just have succeeded at your life goals), but if you never find a way to stop and just enjoy being, then what’s the point in being here at all?
It made me ask myself. All these hours of free time watching Youtube videos, playing games and distracting my mind… are they ACTUALLY relaxing me?
I don’t think so. They’re not stress fixers, just pain killers for a symptom which isn’t going to heal on its own. And that’s what I’ve been doing, instead of writing blog posts – just watching Youtube videos.
I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, and I’ll certainly share with you some great new channels I’ve found (they’re not all gaming!!), but I feel like I’m missing that balance I wanted to achieve on January the first.
A better temporary fix
You’ve had that feeling before. When you’ve needed the loo all day, but because it’s not a feasible option you’ve just dealt with the discomfort in silence. But then a bog related opportunity arises – but you’ll have to wait 5 minutes longer to take it.
That 5 minutes lasts forever!
Oh! I’ve got another one. You’ve forgotten about exam results day, you’re living the free life without a care… then some f***er reminds you it’s results day next week and time begins to drag and you cry yourself to sleep each night.
OK not quite that bad…
But that’s kinda what’s going on now.
I’m going on holiday on Saturday. To Tenerife. Yes. This is me gloating. Deal with it.
It feels like forever since I’ve been on holiday, and for the last few weeks that desire to escape and do literally nothing for a whole week has strengthened until it’s almost unbearable!
It’s a strange thing. And it’s all in my head. I’m getting tireder by the day spending my energy feverishly twiddling my thumbs in anticipation. I know it’s unfair to put so much expectation on a week away, but Tenerife (yes I’m talking to a country) – you’re my knight in shining armour this summer.
Is this what all working adults feel like?
Well, combine this with my blogging (I’d almost forgotten how relaxing this is!) and I’ll stay chilled until the next holiday. Thailand I’m thinking… Better start saving 😉
If you’ve made it this far, I’m impressed and a little worried about you, but here’s a question.
What do you do to fully relax? Do you manage to find the time in your busy schedule to enjoy just being?
Oh, and here’s a link to George’s blog post. It’s pretty heavy reading but he tells the story masterfully: https://storytellingandmore.wordpress.com/2017/07/22/a-story-a-heart/